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Jul. 6th, 2014 | 10:57 pm

#7 / Heart

Kame likes airports and with airports come laced with Akanishi Jin.

Airports may look like your typical sentry to another destination but for other people it's a goodbye or a new beginning in their lives which is a true story, he won't deny that.

Kame likes to people watch when he's at the airport, his eyes hidden by his dark circle sunglasses and greasy hair jammed into a baseball cap. He likes to see their emotions run through their faces, a close play by play of each feeling their eyes portray when they say goodbye to their loved ones, when they kiss passionately like it will be the last kiss they'll ever have. His fingers itch to capture the moments with his camera, wanting to preserve such raw emotion on print would just be magical.

Biases aside though, Narita International Airport is Kame's favorite out of all the airports he's been to. Not because it's in Japan but because he's had (and will continue to have) so many memories here that it is just insane for him that it will only take amnesia for him to forget.

His first international flight that kept him up all night, packing and unpacking, couldn't stop thinking if he forgot something to pack or if he packed too much - things like that. Kame feels like he's fifteen again when he's here at the airport, beanie down low hiding his catepillar eyebrows and puffy eyes. Cue Akanishi Jin's calming hands as he rubs circles inside the Kame's wrist as they lay awake that night in his bed with a few dozen clothing around them, he falls asleep minutes later with Jin's hands innocently intertwined with his.

When he took Maya and his mother to France because his niece had so cutely whined (and trapped) about wanting to see the Eiffel Tower too, she shakes her head as she promises she'll agree to Kame's conditions. He remembers having shoulder cramps and smelling like baby powder the whole time they stayed there and how his mother always gave him a small smile whenever his phone would beep cueing Akanishi's insistent worrying if the flight was alright, if Maya-chan forgot any of her things and assuring Kame again and again that Japanese men do it better. His mother laughs at the domesticity they're portraying, nothing hurts.

Kame also remembers feeling the first shot of unreal pain through his chest in this airport. How it was a sunny day and normally he would check out other people but on that day, Kame could only focus on his. It was fire engine red anger mixed with that lingering pain that he had been carrying since he learned the news and cue Jin's sullen apologetic and hurt face as he looks back at Kame inside the car, they're sitting too close to each other but they feel a million miles away - Kame's too broken and Jin doesn't know how to fix him anymore.

And if Kame tries hard enough, he's sure he could still feel the same pain he felt all those years ago when he was standing in this airport.

But now he's here, with a bunch of people and three guys who practically know him inside out since the beginning of time who are more kids than idols and nothing actually hurts anymore but this time - This time Jin isn't here.

And it's okay. 

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#6 Jealous

Jul. 3rd, 2014 | 04:23 pm

#6 / Jealous
akame, kame/anne-ish

Jin can't pinpoint his feelings when Kame tells him he needs to go and meet Anne then hangs up before he gets to say anything else, says that he'll call back as soon as he can when he's free. It's not like their in an important conversation or anything but Jin calling overseas and most prolly burned a whole through his phone bill again.

He realises that he's not at the top of Kame's list anymore when one time he tried to reach Kame because he had a particular epiphany that Kame needs to hear ASAP but it takes him two weeks of rolling around in his bed at night and three days of irritating Yamapi before he finally reaches Kame and all he gets is, Grow up, Jin. He doesn't know what to feel about that. Once upon a time, Kame would have stopped the world just to make time for Jin, laughed at his stupid jokes and went with this crazy ideas. When they were kids, when he was the only person Kame could see. But now it's different and Jin doesn't really know how to feel about that, he can't adjust to this new found feeilng of what? Abandonment? He would sound too shallow. Betrayal? Too drama queen even for him. He just honestly can't put his finger on what he feels right now that he's only got a fraction of Kame's life when he used to have him as a whole and maybe even more.

Kame talks about Anne more often than Jin would like for him to. Tells him how professional she is on set, how beautiful she looks like in person without the make up obscuring her face and gush about Anne's height, She's really tall! Honestly, Jin doesn't really get it because Anne looks so ordinary for him except for her freakish height, wide eyes (given that they're Japanese) and that she's a daughter of a Hollywood actor.

He met her a few times when Jin was in Tokyo for some office work he needed to personally take care of. Thinking of a nice slow and chill night, he called Kame to ask him out for drinks and maybe a movie over his house just like when they were kids but he invites him over to this fancy bar instead where he is. Jin is dressed for the occasion (he had the decency to change from his hoodie to something nice) and he enjoyed the way Kame's eyes sparkled as he walked to their table, the way Kame's finger grazed the collar of his shirt gentle enough not to trigger his tickle bones and the crinkle of his eyes when he laughed. But he quickly pulled away from the hug and gestured Jin to greet the person across the small table that's filled with glasses of cocktails.

Jin is not his old chatty stupid self that night because Kame isn't even paying attention to him even though Anne was sensitive enough to notice that for him, she looks at Jin with confused eyes and throws the question back to Jin whenever she feels necessary. Anne looks like she's uncomfortable when Jin is staring at her but he doesn't mean any harm, he's just looking for that special thing that made Kame into this fan.

Are you going to start dating her?
, he types after a few minutes Kame hangs up the phone and hits send. Jin didn't expect an instantaneous reply since he's gotten the memo of him being just a normal person in Kame's life but then Kame always knew how to pull Jin's strings - his phone starts ringing the minute he passes the red light.

"What are you on?" Kame's teasing voice immediately comes up to greet him with no actual greeting, Jin's hand clutches the wheel tighter than necessary as Kame's giggles slap his ego. Maybe Jin knows what he feels - felt, past tense because he's over this shit.

"Don't," Jin says voice strain with irritation because he caved in to Kame's techniques, Kame could brainwash people if he wanted to.

"But I didn't even say anything," Jin hears people talking in the background, chairs being moved around, men yelling commands and Kame's voice is smooth over it all. He misses this bastard, no matter how sly he can get.

"Course you didn't, I'm driving. Call me when you're done," and this time Jin hangs the phone up before Kame could even squeeze something else and he feels this victorious humming sound in his ears and also the steadying beat of his heart. 

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Jul. 1st, 2014 | 02:30 am

#5 / Connect

I'm sorry but the number you are trying to reach is not-, the operator gets cut off when Kame shuts his phone and throws it to the carpeted floor of their waiting room. Ten minutes until show time and Jin is still no where to be seen. Nakamaru is pacing the room because he can't keep his cool, Koki is cracking his knuckles out of worry, Junno is bunching his shoulders to one side as he drives his PSP and Ueda is somewhere in the room.

Their manager drops in a minute later, nine minutes til' showtime, and gets their attention with his big manager cough. "Where's Ueda?" apparently, Kame's not the only one who can't find him but when the person in question raises his hand Kame swears that Ueda has some kind of power. Fairy power.

"Oh, there you are. Okay then-" Kame's throat gets caught because why? Why does manager-san have to gather them around like sheep, he had never done so before not even when they were bratty little juniors who were impatient and rowdy.

"So I'm you've noticed someone is missing," he starts gently, trying not to throw salt into their wounds just yet.

"Akanishi will not show up now, or the next performance, or the next single or the next concert," he aborts the break it to them gently plan and goes head on with the shock. Junno drops his PSP and stands up in surprise, Ueda merely puffs his cheeks (just because he finds the atmosphere awkward and wished he wasn't here), Koki slumps down the chair Junno's vacated, Nakamaru stops pacing and stares blankly at the space where Jin always sits and Kame-

Kame nods like the professional that he is and fixes his collar, four minutes til show time and puffs his chest as if to gather all his strength and stop the emotions from coming.

"Well, we've performed before without him. Surely, we can do it again right?" he smiles but every single one in the room knows it's the fakest one he's put on since - they don't say anything but two minutes before show time, Nakamaru holds his hand in the dark, places his lips gently on Kame's temple and it soothes Kame's bundled nerves.

"I'm sorry," Nakamaru mumbles and Kame could only nod.

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Jun. 30th, 2014 | 06:49 pm

#4 / More

Kame stares at the baseball cap he usually wears over his product-free hair, he likes this one esepcially because this one was given to him by one of his childhood heroes who visited Going! Kamenashi-kun, you proved me wrong, you're a good kid, he said and he puffs his chest, he felt so invincible at that time.

And just like he always does when he has a baseball mit on his hand and the other holding a baseball behind his back, ready to attack the batter with his mean curve ball. The fans screaming his name mixed with the chanting of the team's cheer, coaches encouragement floating through his brain like a lullaby his mother used to do when he was young and innocent. He feels invincible then when he's like that.

Kame thinks that Jin isn't his first love (not even his second or third or fourth, Kame can't actually remember), it's baseball. And just like all first loves, it's hard to forget.

"Kame, we're going to be late!" Jin yells from the front door holding the handle of the cooler in one hand and two separate bag straps slung over his shoulder on the other as he gestures for Kame to hurry up. Kame picks up the baseball cap and shoves it to his head before Jin could scold him any further, he grabs the keys and locks the house.

It's when Jin force feeds Kame a sandwich inside the car while he drives to Yuya's baseball match and contorts his body to reach Kayo's ketchup stained cheeks in the back seat realizes that even though he met Jin after  a couples of loves after, he thinks it's worth it. Kame lifts the cap from his head and jams it to Jin's curly mop and holds his hand while he drives.

He doesn't say anything when Jin inquires with his eyes but he smiles and stops himself from leaning in and kissing Jin's confused expression away. Jin doesn't even like baseball but that's okay, Kame likes him anyway and he feels ten times more invincible now than he ever has been. 

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Jun. 30th, 2014 | 01:37 pm

#3 / become

When Jin leaves the premises of his apartment with his luggage in tow, black beanie covering most of his head and sunglasses perched on bridge of his tall nose he thinks he's entering another chapter of his life but this time he doesn't plan on revisiting this previous one ever again.

His jacket hides the dark bruises and light battle scars from last night, his eyes are bloodshot because instead of sleeping he was busy picking up and sweeping broken glass from his floor. This was the fight of their life and maybe it will be the last, Jin is unsure.

I could be whatever you want me to be, he said to him last night while his eyes are unfocused, lips quivering like it's -10 inside Jin's apartment. Jin remembers the talk going around, remembers the pictures that were sent to his mail that was blurred but there's no denying that it was him.

It suddenly makes Jin colder, so he doesn't talk and before he knows it Kamenashi is throwing things around his home, raging and not caring about what other people thought.

Jin arrives at the airport and is fingering his phone inside his pocket, contemplating if he should return the calls Kame had left him.

He takes it out and takes one last look at it and slips the device in the nearest trash bin and flies away.

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Jun. 29th, 2014 | 04:32 am

#2 / World

Sometimes, Kame wonders if he's gotten a little too focused on his work that he didn't even realize when the wrinkles started forming under his eyes or how he missed 34 baseball games, 22 ballet recitals and 15 barbecues in 2 years. Baseball hat jammed into his damp hair, aching arms slumped over the uncomfortable connected chairs inside the batting range, he looks from his hands that are calloused with the various hobbies he's blindly picked up over the years to the well loved shoes that's across from him, feet that are connected to someone who Kame lost when they were kids that were too naive to apologize.

Jin's sleeping with this hoodie over his beautiful stubble free face and Kame thinks (as he stares at the hideous hoodie) that old habits die hard and he takes one look at what he's holding (a baseball bat) and nods to himself. He kicks Jin's worn out shoes and it stirs him awake, his sleepy eyes looking at Kame's sweaty face and he smiles.

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Jun. 29th, 2014 | 02:26 am

#1 / Black

They were supposed to be just friends but apparently every single being had cock blocked that possibility because no matter how they tried to be just friends they always seemed to be shoved in a dark broom closet to make up from a dirty fist fight, paired and forced into a unlit hotel room in the middle of some unfamiliar province or run into each other in a dingy narrow alley behind bars in the middle of the night looking high and wasted with whatever it is that they took or smudged lipstick staining the corner of their lips while the other's chest burns.

Jin's got the blackest of eyes when Kamenashi stares at them. He could see right through his soul and what he sees is something that's tucked behind his skull all the way back inside for him not to reach out but not enough for him to forget.

Kame's got the straightest back whenever Jin accidentally brushes his fingers on his hot hot skin like it's acid or something more intense that they both don't try to acknowledge because it would be all too real for them to handle.

But when the lights are off and there's only them in their own skin and bones and when reality is disregarded - they're in love. 

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untitled drabble #1

Jun. 26th, 2014 | 09:49 am

Pairing: Akame
Summary: Mandatory Jin leaving drabble
A/N: might have butchered this, oh well

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The world is wind up

Jun. 18th, 2014 | 07:21 pm

Title: The world is wind up
Pairing: Akame, Ninja!Kameda (oh come on, don't judge me)
Warnings: 6491 Words, Re-incarnation, Bad Ye Old English, Un-Beta-ed, Not proof read, Mentions of cocaine and death, and lots of serious ANGST.
Rating: R (just to be safe)
Summary: Jin finds and meets Kamenashi in different life times.
Author's note: Please, I didn't want to make Takki the bad guy in this I swear it just sort of happened? This is the longest fic I've written in a long long long time so please. Be gentle. Thanks and comments make me happy ♥

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Writers who write love letters

May. 9th, 2014 | 03:19 am

Pairing: Kamenashi Kazuya/Akanishi JIn, slight Kim Jaejoong/Park Yoochun (when I say slight, I mean that they don't show up that much in the fic but they are established here)
Summary: Off to University with a vision of learning new things, Kamenashi Kazuya expects to be the next Haruki Murakami but ended up being Yukio Yamaji.
Notes: The plot is not entirely mine because I based this on Kill your darlings which I am so obsessed about. If you haven't seen the film, you must. Plus, the actors are visually appealing. Win-win situation, I'd say. I also won't promise that this fiction has no typo error whatsoever because as you know, I don't proof read my fiction but I hope it isn't anything too bad. And if you find that the story starts okay then ends up being rushed that's because I suck and fail at life. Anyway, I hope you like this. :)

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