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Oct. 20th, 2014 | 11:55 pm

#13 / Eight

Kame doesn't like this, the blood running in his veins is getting warmer by the minute as he stares at the dark eyes across from him, the music way too loud to even understand what he's saying so Kame keeps on staring, looking for something, something that had changed through the course of the years.

Jin still looks the same. In theory anyway because the press already made a big fuss about how he's too skinny for his own good, accusing him of using drugs and typically would make rumours about how a bad father he is, how their household isn't a good home to raise a child. The media always loved to whack Jin's already destroyed reputation and Kame's sure Jin's learned how to dodge them by now or at least he hopes he does.

His eyes are still the same though. Deep dark brownish color even without the proper lightning to make them sparkle, Jin always had beautiful eyes simply because it had nothing to hide, Jin always left that part of him bare if anyone dared to try. The curve of his nose and his strong eyebrow, all the same like nothing happened, like five years hadn't gone by, like a baby didn't happen and as if that gold ring on his left ring finger is bare.

As if they're still together; Jin would come home with Kame in his car, Jin would drive and he would sleep soundly in their bed. Side by side and Kame would smell that cologne Jin wears until he falls asleep in fluffy white sheets - like they used to.

Finally the music dies down a little, an random announcement is made informing the concert goers that the first act is about to close their set and a few minutes later it'll be Bruno Mars. Kame isn't really paying attention because he's subtly looking at Jin's lips and listens his voice, God it had been so long.

"I didn't renew my contract," Jin says in a straight face, shoulders back and neck long as he cradles his beer with one hand. This is a new part of Jin that Kame hasn't discovered, a Jin that presented himself as a confident person, unmasked face and proper casual attire though his hair is still a little wild, Jin is still beautiful.

"So I've heard," talking for the first time since they've spotted each other in the crowded concert arena. Despite the darkness and people moving along to the music, they found each other - they always do even if they don't try.

"I hope it works out," Kame adds, his hands are shaking inside his pockets and he has half a mind to get on with his feet and just fucking go because he can't take this anymore.

Jin chuckles, there's a wrinkle around Jin's eyes that wasn't there before but it's not too noticeable to comment on and it just added more sophistication to Jin's features. Jin is growing old gracefully despite the things that happened, Kame can't help but be relieved.

Kame chuckles back, shoves his hands deeper into his pockets and digs a hole onto the ground with his feet as he kicks the dirt away.

The crowd goes wild as the lights get crazy, neons everywhere and spotlights unfocused and it's a cue to take their spots because Bruno Mars is finally going to go on. Kame doesn't even say a word and just raises his hand casually, a simple gesture that meant a million different things and Jin could interpret it however he wants it to.

He goes back to the people he came with, clinks their beers together and the soft intro of the piano makes everyone shut up, Bruno Mars' cool voice fills their ears as the first verse of Again is sung.

< Hands over my head, thinking what else could go wrong? Would've stayed in bed, how can a day be so long?
Never believed that things happened for a reason. But how this turned out, removed all my doubt so believe -
that for you, I'll do it all over again. >

Kame closes his eyes and maybe a single tiny tear drop falls on his cheek and if anyone noticed, no one really tried to point it out. His chest feels warm and thick, heavy almost as he breathes in and letting the lyrics strike him like lightning making him fall off of to where he is and into this momentary bliss, a quick rundown of the time when he was still together with Jin - the music is still going on.

Kame's having that I'm glad that I've met you feeling, he just wished that his bones were thick enough so that when he would tell Jin it wouldn't crumble into fine dust, he knees wouldn't shake like earlier.

And when he opens his eyes, the outro fading into the arena, he meets Jin's eyes - dark chocolate and smiling. He's panting, sweat all over his face his hair blown by the wind turning it to a beautiful mop of mess atop his head and he keeps on smiling at Kame, like he's relieved.

Like he did something right.

"Eight years," Jin breathes out because he's still panting after running around the arena looking for Kame, maybe elbowing some people too along the way. Kame tilts his head to the side, a tear drop that's filled the brim of his eyes rolls down his cheek, quickly wiping it away. He thinks he forgot how to breath because his head is swirling, he can't figure out what song is playing behind them anymore but he can feel a number of eyes boring behind his leather jacket, getting heavier by the second.

Jin is getting impatient with Kame's silence so he takes his shoulders and invades Kame's personal space, his dark eyes boring into his.

"Eight years and you tell me you hope it'll work out," he says, a little annoyed and partly sounding stupid but it's Jin.

"What do you want me to say," Kame's suddenly worn out. He doesn't know where this is going. And he also has this overwhelmingly strong feeling to hit Jin in the face.

"I wanted you to ask about my daughter, I wanted you to ask about my music, I wanted you to ask about how I was for the past eight years of you ignoring me," this is all too much to take for Kame because he would have asked everything what Jin said for him to ask but he figured he wasn't in that position anymore, Kame was just taking care of boundaries.

"It's different now," he sighs.

"It's not-"

"I'm glad I met you," Kame cuts Jin off, his chest expands tenfold as he breathes in like this is the last. Maybe it is, this will be the last.

"Once upon a time, a skinny boy whom I shared a tent with in Okinawa told me he wanted to be good father and make his own music for a living. I'm honestly glad you've achieved everything you've wanted," he smiles but the veins inside his torso seem to disintegrate as he lets oxygen pass through his lungs every single time he breathes.

Somehow the people in the background just faded away and all he can hear is his own heartbeat drumming loudly in his ears and his eyes trained on Jin's face, Kame tries to smile as he turns around and apologizes to his friends that he feels a little under the weather and steps one foot ahead of the other, away from Jin because he knows this will always be their ending.

It's so ironic how they could always find each other but in the end they would never, no matter how hard they try, end up together.

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